Well bless your hearts! Y'all decided to read little ol' me's summary of how the petite blossum, got her world turned upside down by that scoundral Yankee in a southern virgin boy's clothes.We begin on a lovely SOUTHERN California day. Our heroine Missy Amy of Memphis and nems (translation:nems=those people, as in mom and nems are down at the crick washin clothes), are dicussin, being in the final four. Miss Amy is surprized Kentucky aint in it, then realizes this aint basketball, cant you just sop her up with a biscut and eat her right up?
Lisa that hussy bartender from Los Ange Gel Les, is not sure how she would do against Cpt. Jason and Dani that good fer nuttin carpetbagger.
Innocent Miss Amy, knows that she won't win due to a baisis the world has against beauty queens, so she is hoping that carpetbagger Dani wins it. Miss Amy being of pure heart and love fer all of God's creature, and doesn't want to see the bad in people, feels that there are no alliances in the Manision ( Sherman Oakes). The Jezebel from the big city Lisa, is just now figuring out that Cpt. Jason and Dani, may have an alliance.
We then review how That Yankee wannabe was using his charms and manners to his best interest by getting kisses in exchange for broken promises of extending the ladies stay in the Mansion. We then find out that Cpt jason has a dark side: DANI, he is such a traitor to his own kind (the fine folks of the souther United States, YEEEHAW, Oh I wish I was in the land of cotton, but I digress, he should be tarred, feather and rode out on a rail. He does show some of the upbringgin his momma (oh she must be shamed of him now)learned him,when Miss Julie asked him if the flirting that Miss Amy and Lisa were forced to whore themselves out to, would influence his decision. He said "I do not Kiss and Tell" The only gentlemanly thang he did all night.
We are then privy to the evil plot of Dani,who I come to hear aint even seen a Braves game. She's discussin her plot to make it to the end. It was like listnen to Sherman talk about how he was going to march through Atlanta. She talks about how she made a deal with the DEBIL (translation Debil= the evil underlord of Hades) and she was forced to do thangs she twernt (translation twert= wasn't) to happy about. They played it off like the Debil was a metaphor for Roddy, but we all know she made a real deal with Lucy fer himself. She said she was as innocent as a Dove and as sly as a Snake. Well here in the South we cut the heads off snakes and then use the head to decorate our hats and their skin to decorate our boots.
We then see how Dani's evil plot has affected the lives of others. We talk to Lori. Tonya, Eric and Roddy (the debil). At least the first three had the good sense God gave a pig and mentioned that they missed their family the most. Roddy,a Yankee,is now living in that modern day Sodom and Gamora, Sin City USA, Las Vegas. Yeah Tonya lives there to but I believe she is doing missionary work there, I remember somone say she enjoyed a Missionary Position, I assumed that was Yankee speech for Missionary work.
Well it come time for that traitor from Mobile to turn on his fellow southener and evict Miss Amy. Just like when Lee surrendered at Appomattu
he really didn't surrender, he just lent Grant his sword and was too much of a gentlemanto ask fer it back), Amy did what was good fer everyone and not jest her. She walked out with her head held high, with the grace and beauty of someone of her up bringing. It was as though she knew exactly what to do.
She chatted with Miss Julie, and was surprised to hear that her traitor friend and the Carpetbagger Dani had been an alliance since week one. Not being the vindictive person most people would be she went on to wish Dani good luck, Thats Beauty Pagent Manners if ever there was any. Miss Amy felt she was the Mansion's cry baby, we all know it's jest emotions that come from being so good and kind all the time, and someone kicks you in the teeth like a mule.
Everyone filmed a fairwell message, saying how much they loved Miss Amy, as well they should be. We then get to meet Miss Amy's Momma, and Sir Oliver Buckingham, obviously a dog of very good up bringgin, but to keep him the salt of the Earth we shall call him Bucky, not to be confused with Bunky from season 2.
Then after the sun sets and Miss Amy claims that Tomorrow is another Day, we head back to the mansion were the other house guests are reveling in their cruelty have to start the next HOH competition. It is a cross between Gilligans Island (mmmmmm Marianne) and Survivors keep your hand on the idol contest. Every one gets a Dingy (why is everyone snickering?) they then must hold onto to their key in the middle of the pool, last one left, then wins part one of the immunit, oops HOH contest. We then the weather started getting rough the tiny ships were tossed.
Cut to black, And I will never go hungry again. GO BRAVES!!!
Come in a stranger,leave a little stranger
